I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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