So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
