its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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