I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
