so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
