nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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