so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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