maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My dick has a subreddit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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