why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
