It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
