I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i came on her dog
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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