dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My cat gives me a boner
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
