well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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