so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
