dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
