They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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