I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
