ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
