It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
