i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
