We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
