I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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