Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
