I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I believe in your delicious
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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