how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
