He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
this hospital has no fireball
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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