I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
