im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
