Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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