It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
