wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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