i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
