Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
