tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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