a queef is a wish your heart makes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
