im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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