Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
