For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
