Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
