You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So apparently I’m into choking now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
