Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
