Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
