you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
