"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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