Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
