is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
