we made out on top of his cat.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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