I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
