is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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