You surviving the open bar?
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He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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